i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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