Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Everclear isn't food dammit
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
