If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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