I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
