That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I bet he comes in French.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
