You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
