I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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