Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
