Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
