New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
