Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
