I wanna bring you to show and tell
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
false alarm, still single
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