i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
