On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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