it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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