Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize
