Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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