he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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