I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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