You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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