Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
