sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
