I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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