So drunk its hurt
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
