You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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