i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I can't turn off my feet"
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
