ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
