Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
