I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
