you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
