Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
