This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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