I hate all girls vehemently.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
