why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
