My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
