I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
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