toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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