that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
