That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
