I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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