Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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