Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
