Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
