He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
