We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
