Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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