What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
