I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize