So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
