oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Randomize
