hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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