Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
whose ass print is on the piano?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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