is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
