I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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