Having a random hookup so left but love u
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
