i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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