Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
