i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Are we still banned from the library?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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