well you can't waste a boner
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
