you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
God, I missed his penis.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
