So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
