Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize